Friend Mail Guidelines

For K-12 Students Sending Support!

This Youtube has everything you need to know in just under ten minutes to get started making a difference, including Letter Guidelines and how-to send your Friend Mail. In this how-to video created in 2019, On-Air Teen Super Ambassador, Brielle Withers, (then 13), talks with Executive Director, Jennifer Young, who is also the Co-Founder of the Be A Friend Project. 

The #1 Guideline: Have fun and put your heart into it!

Your style is up to you!


The possibilities are endless for all school-age kids & teens! Whether you create a virtual card, send an email or a picture of your letter, mail your handwritten letters, class poster or creative cards with drawings and surprises, what matters most is that you are sending a gift from the heart and be proud of it! 

Letter Guidelines

Remember to introduce yourself


...without giving your last name or home address.  For example: "I'm a 5th grade student in a New York City public school..."

Letter Guidelines


You know their story!

What do you have in common? You might share about hobbies and activities that you enjoy. If you feel like you've been in their shoes before, tell them about it. 

Letter Guidelines
Be Positive!


Your goal is to help victims feel better about themselves, not worse. Instead of saying, "I feel sorry for you," you might say, "I am sorry you have to deal with bullies because you sound like a very interesting person."

Letter Guidelines

Please Don't
"Blame the Victim"

... by telling them they "should have" done something differently. THEY SURVIVED. Especially do not tell them they should have hit their bully, or spread lies about him or her... we will pull out letters that encourage violence.

Letter Guidelines

Stay Mindful: the Project is not Religion-Based

...and the person you are writing may have different beliefs from you. We are Kindness-Based and celebrate diversity.

Letter Guidelines

Don't stress out about solving their problems

...because that is not your job. Your job is to show support through your words to a peer who really needs it!

Letter Guidelines

Give only your first name and leave no contact info

Though "pen pals" are a fun idea, we keep all our under-18 Ambassadors and Recipients safe and anonymous. Only school addresses are okay! Your letters come through our office first. We review their content and mail them as one big delivery!

Letter Guidelines

No stamp required!

Let's send one now :)

Visit this page

to learn more about becoming an Official or Super Ambassador!



A great day for Friend Mail!!


Be A Friend Project

449 Lane Gate Road
Cold Spring, NY 10516


if that is holding back your group or school from on-going participation! We want to make it EASY for you to keep sending your support. All you have to do is send a note requesting the postage reimbursement (with name for check) inside your package of Friend Mail and you will receive a check in the amount of postage on the envelope.


Letters can be sent by using our online form, sending us your Google Drive link or an email. Emails can also include PDFs or pictures of your handmade letters! For best results, take pictures overhead and straight-on, easiest to do by placing them on the floor. We will print it out for you and include it in the "Friend Mail" delivery!


No stamp required!

Let's send one now :)


A volunteer "Review Crew" reads EVERY letter to assure Guidelines have been followed before including it with the Friend Mail delivery!